Yeah, right on! Baptism is supposed to be a show of your faith to other people, not to God. They also were not legal contracts of shackling people to an organization. JWs would probably say that the baptisms back then were only for the 144,000. That's why they got baptized so soon. I, too, had the same doubts about the requirements for baptism. No where in the Bible does it say all that stuff is necessary. When the Ethiopian left Phillip, they never saw each other, again. Phillip also never gave him a warning to resign from his governmental duties or mentioned an organization.
Cigarettes dirty the body, but the Bible doesn't include a dirty body in the DF'ing list. That list is full of really awful things, except for the fornication bit. That is personal. Thief, greedy person, extortioner, liar, murderer, slanderer...no prohibition on smoking or talking to other DFd people. I bet people did smoke stuff back then. Oh, and disassociation is not a crime worthy of shunning, either. It was never mentioned in the Bible.
Please don't think I even believe the Bible anymore. I do like talking about it for academic purposes.